そもそも日本では男女の友情は成立するか? という議論があるので男女が親友になる、というコンセプト自体理解しづらいですが、アメリカでは珍しいことではありません。そして親友同士が付き合ったら最高の恋人になれるんじゃない? というアイデアが生まれるわけです。あなたはどう思いますか?

Can opposite genders be friends in Japan? While it might be a bit difficult to understand this concept here in Japan, it’s nothing out of the ordinary in America. Therefore, if best friends begin to date, isn’t that just awesome? At least, the idea is. What do you think?


Whether this is common in Japan or not, it is not unusual for people to be best friends with the opposite gender in the West. While it seems to be a common belief that a platonic relationship cannot be kept between a man and a woman, that is a discussion for another time. Dating your best friend is a broad, yet often discussed on the internet.



There are so many pros to dating your best friend. The most obvious one being that you two already know each other. You know their good side, and you know their bad side. You know what to do to make them happy, and you also know how to push their buttons. You already spend time together and enjoy it, talk about so many things and have fun. You are comfortable in front of each other, so you are able to let loose and be yourself instead of trying to impress them. When you’re mad at each other, it doesn’t take long to make up because before anything, you guys are best friends and it’s painfully difficult not to talk.


Most likely you know their dating history, you know how they operate, and you’ve probably seen them in their most unflattering moments. But none of this matters because you guys are best friends, and you love each other.


Photo: Junko



You guys are best friends. That in itself can be a con. When you take that friendship to the next level, you risk the possibility of ruining a friendship. What if things don’t work out in a relationship, will you be able to return to just being best friends? Also, you guys are already comfortable as friends, and sometimes taking it to the next level can be awkward. There are so many movies about how best friends tried dating at one point, kissed, felt awkward, gave up quickly and returned to being their not-dating-selves.


Also, when you’re fighting, who are you supposed to talk to? You can’t turn to your best friend because you’re fighting with them. And when you need their dating advice, you can’t get it from them.


Photo: Junko

Does It Work?


The idea of dating your best friend should work. At least, that is what I think. You have such a strong connection, you get along great, you’re yourself in front of them. But, perhaps it is because you are already too comfortable in front of them that the romantic aspect that you might have once seen in them has dissolved.


In many cases, on movies and TV shows, and from personal experiences, dating your best friend doesn’t tend to work. It’s wonderful at first, but then you start to miss having them being just your best friend. You miss talking to them, as if something must change once your status has become “in a relationship”.


Photo: Junko



Now that we have talked about how it is not unusual for people in the West to have best friends of the opposite gender, I would like to talk about how this does not mean there are any romantic feelings. Yes, the friendship may evolve into a romantic relationship, as I discussed earlier. But not every friendship leads to romance. Some friendships stay platonic, and never become anything more. This is because both parties know each other so well, that it would be beyond weird to be anything more than just best friends.


Having confidence in yourself, and knowing that you are the one dating them instead of their best friend is very important. Becoming jealous over their friendship can become a major deal breaker. It can cause fights and in the end, the chances of putting the pressure on your SO to choose their friend or yourself will be implemented, and that is the absolute worse ultimatum anyone can set in place.


Photo: Junko


As you grow older, you seek out true connection over whether or not he’s hot or she’s cute. The outer attraction isn’t as important as the inner attraction. You crave for connection, and that is someone you can usually find within friends, if your SO hasn’t become your best friend already by this point.


Many people say to hold back, not to share everything with your partner in order to keep the flame alive. But in my own personal opinion, I think that is complete and total bullshit. There shouldn’t be a necessity to hold back and keep yourself shrouded in mystery in order to keep your partner interested in you. I believe that you should be able to wake up looking like a mess, be cranky in front of them and be your honest self in front of your partner. I do believe that whether you date your best friend or not, whomever you are dating should become your best friend.


Photo: Junko


I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their lives with someone they can have so much fun with? Perhaps my experiences never worked because I was too naive? Because, I think an ideal relationship is with a best friend.