While it’s normal in Japan, you can also find hostesses in other Asian cities. Having drinks with some women is actually quite unique to the Japanese culture. This time, we try to figure out why this hostess culture exists in Japan wile also looking at the American culture.


Young women with their hair set professionally, perfectly done makeup, shiny high heels and sexy dresses, bowing deeply as they voice lines they’ve repeated so many times before, “thank you so much. Please take care going home.” Such a scene is quite common in Japan. Women who choose to work as a hostess have complicated reasons behind them. There are those that enjoy the work, others that don’t have a choice. Sometimes working a night job is the only way some of them can support themselves financially. Understandably, the night shift pay has a higher wage than that of the day.



ホステスクラブには様々なコンセプトがあるため一概にはこれと言えないですが、基本はお客様がセット料金とお酒のお金を払い、ホステスとお話ができる場を設ける場所です。つまりお客様は女の子とお話をしてお酒を飲むためだけに高額のお金を払っています。一方でアメリカにはこのようなホステスクラブは無いです。お金が発生するのは、体の関係を持ってからです。これがSugar Daddy/Mommyというもので、若い人が、年上のお金持ちの異性に体の関係を提供する代わりに、お金をもらうというシンプルな売春のこと。もちろん日本にもこの売春は存在しますが、ホステスの数の方が断然多いでしょう。

It is complicated to explain what hostess clubs are in Japan because many of them have their own concepts or themes. But basically, it is a place where you pay a cover charge for a table and a mandatory beverage, then you get to drink and chat with young pretty women. To put it simply, you spend a lot of money to just get an opportunity to drink with women. On the other hand, they don’t have such places in the States. The closest thing they have to this in the U.S. is an escort. However there are some controversies to this profession, because it encourage many women to sleep with their benefactors (aka sugar daddies)…much like a prostitute. Of course there are such things in Japan as well, but the number of hostess clubs are much higher than the number of escorts.


So, why don’t they have a hostess club in the States?
I took some time to think about this topic in terms of who frequents hostess clubs.
There were two possible reasons I could come up with as to why they don’t have hostess clubs, or kyabakura as they are called in Japan, in the States. Men in America don’t need to spend money just to meet and drink with women. If they are desperate to meet or become friends with young girls, they can go to a bar and pick up girls they like. Why would they spend a lot of money on a place that will decide who you will talk with, without any regard to your preferences. They could easily find and talk to girls who are attractive without having to pay a ridiculous amount of money. We have many bars here in Japan, but why don’t Japanese men do the same as American men? What is the appeal of a hostess club? I believe that it has something to do with shyness. Again it doesn’t apply to everyone but I feel like it applies for the majority of Japanese patrons. I might be biased, but I work in an international bar where many foreigners frequent and I can see the difference between their behavior in comparison to Japanese men. Most Japanese men are afraid of getting rejected or ignored, or they only see the negative consequences ahead, so that they cannot approach girls unless an opportunity is handed to them. Many times, even if they gather the courage to talk to a girl, their lack of experience makes them seem awkward and unnatural and may turn girls off.




Compared to Japanese men, American guys tend to be good at starting conversation without any awkward approach, as if it were all just a coincidence. If that first step goes smoothly, girls won’t be skeptical if they are being hit on, and then they will respond and have a few drinks with them. Also, in case they are ignored or fail, it doesn’t really make them upset and they even make a joke out of it. Many have a sense of humor, which tends to give others a good first expression.

ただし、話しかけることができても、友達になることができても、そこから体の関係に発展させることができるかどうかは別です。なのでそこにはお金を払わないといけない、ということで sugar daddy/mommy が存在してくるのでしょう。しかし話しかける段階ではお金払う必要がないと言う事です。

However, being successful with talking to girls, becoming friends with them, bringing them home to have physical interaction, are all totally different things. Being good at picking up girls doesn’t mean you can have sex with whoever you want, so you have to pay to get what you want. That’s why sugar daddies exist in the states. But they don’t spend money on the process of talking to girls.


The other possible reason may be company politics. Company politics are universal but what I mean by “company politics” is, in Japan, you often go out to drink after work with your boss. Entertaining your client or customer is normal if you work in a company, but I am talking about building an internal relationship with your coworkers and satisfying your boss. If they ask you to go drinking with them, you don’t really have a choice, that is, if you want to get promoted. Bosses tend to like the staff who go out to drink with them. Especially those who can drink as much as they can, and can liven up the conversation. No wonder all the wives let their husband go drinking late at night so often. They want the money too. Of course when it’s all guys, they need girls, which is why we need many hostess clubs. I bet the majority of business men have experienced a club. On the other hand, internal relationships in companies in the US are dry. Of course during work hours, you have obligations, but after hours, you are free to spend your time however you wish. There are still some connections outside of work with coworkers, but it is not forced and you don’t have to hesitate as much when you decline. It’s their performance at work that gets evaluated instead of how often you go out to drink with your boss.



Those two different factors lead Japan to have so many hostess club, while there none in the states. I only focused and wrote in terms of men just because, in general, they are more likely to be the one who talks to girls first, but it could said that for women as well. Japanese girls are more shy and barely start talking to men, even if they like them. While American girls can do it without much hesitation.


There is no right or wrong, better or worse, but its just that it has something to do with culture itself. It’s good to show who you are and have your own thoughts in the states. In Japan, being a part of what society is instead of being different from others is important. The different backgrounds reflect how people act.